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A New Start

By James A. Kisner

It's Friday night and dinner's on the table.... cold again.
Her husband's late, he must have run into a drinking friend.
She sits and worries all alone and shuffles nervous feet.
It's nights like this, if he is drunk, she knows she may get beat.
It doesn't happen often, but she doesn't understand,
Why a woman has to take a beating from a man?

Her husband goes out drinking and complains about his life.
He says it could get better, then he blames it on his wife.
Then when he finally does arrive at home.... late Friday night
He's feeling sorry for himself and always starts a fight.
He says he has to work too hard and never gets ahead.
He could have had a happy life but married her instead.

Now he feels he's tied down and he blames it all on her.
He's wasting all his best years and his life is just a blur.
He says her and the children do not make his life complete.
But always says he's sorry every time that she gets beat.
She sits and thinks about the time so many years ago
And wonders how the man she loves could stoop so very low.

Many times he's hit her and many times she's cried.
And when the children questioned her, she.... had always lied.
She took the beatings and abuse, with no where else to turn.
She could not raise three children on the money she did earn.
She lived in fear of Friday nights each and every week.
Emotions overtake her and anxieties would peak.

So nervous as she sat there, thinking only of the kids.
So far he hasn't hit them, but what if one day he did?
What would she do, where would she go, if he keeps getting worse?
Her married life, she loved so much, had now become a curse.
So frantic she began to pace, the hour's getting late.
She feels the perspiration as her heart does palpitate.

She knows what's going to happen when he walks in through the door.
Even though he promised he won't hit her anymore.
"Why must I take it anymore?" she cries out with a moan.
"I'm not a punching bag for him," then she reached for the phone.
She dialed an "Abuse Hotline" even though it broke her heart.
She said, "I don't know what to do, but this is where to start!!"

"A New Start" © 1998 James A. Kisner.
The Poems and Writings of James A. Kisner (PoppyK1) are copyrighted and may not be reproduced without written permission from Fleeting Moments Publishing, PO Box 38, Brunswick, Ohio 44212.
For online permission email FleetingMP@aol.com.
This poem is used by permission of Fleeting Moments Publishing.
All copies of his poems MUST include these credits.
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Special Note:
This poem shows our desperation, our fear of the cycle and phases of abuse. No, he hasn't hit the kids yet, but what will happen when he does?

This poem was my life for many years. The waiting, the fear of his drinking, the fear of his abuse and the fear of not knowing when it would happen. Does this poem feel familiar to you? Have you paced and worried? Make that call. Please, make it and save yourself and your children.

For information on 24 hour hotlines and immediate help contact
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TDD)