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Song Playing is called
"The Great Pretender"
Index of what is
on this page
Types of Abuse
The 3 C's - Three Things to Remember!
Types of Abuse
The Seven Types of Abuse
** IMPORTANT**
These lists of abuse types and the behaviors were
actually taken from the male abusers, men who were describing how they
abused and controlled their wives or girlfriends.
Remember, a single act may not be abuse. But,
if someone is doing something to harm or control you...then,YES, it is
abuse.
The seven types are:
Physical Abuse
Sexual Abuse
Ritual Abuse
Social Abuse
Financial Abuse
Enviromental Abuse
Emotional/Psychological/Verbal Abuse
* Indicates acts which are clearly criminal or may be criminal depending
upon the circumstances. If you recognize any of these bahaviors as a part
of your life, please wake up and take a look at your life.
If you know someone who you have seem display any of these behaviors, please
talk to her and help. Read up on abuse before talking to her so you'll
be prepared. If she does disclose her abuse, help her. Help her set up
a plan of escape. Help her get counselling (if she is able) and help her
to find a hiding place.
PHYSICAL
ABUSE
* any unwanted physical contact
* kicking, punching, pinching
* pulling, pushing
* slapping, hitting, shaking
* cutting, burning
* pulling hair
* squeezing hand, arm twisting
* choking, smothering
* forced feeding
* spitting on her
* throwing her
* throwing things at her
* hitting her with objects
* restraining her in any way
* tying her up
* urinating on her
* breaking bones
* knifing, shooting, murder
* threatening to kill or injure her
- ignoring her illness or injury
- denying or restricting food or drink
- pressuring or tricking her
into alcohol or drug use
- standing too close/intimidation
- hiding or witholding her necessary
medications
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SEXUAL
ABUSE
* any unwanted sexual contact
* forcing her to have sex; badgering or
hounding her for sex
* forcing her to have sex with animals
* forcing her to shave her pubic hair
* uttering threats to obtain sex
* pinching, slapping, grabbing,poking her
breasts or gentials
* forcing sex when she's sick,
after childbirth, operation, etc.
- sleeping around
- knowingly transmitting a sexaul disease
- treating her as a sex object
- being rough
- pressuring her to pose for pornographic
photos
- displaying pornography that makes
her uncomfortable
- using sex as a basis of an arguement
- using sex as a solution to an arguement
- critizing her sexual ability
- unwanted fondling in public
- purposely not wash & expecting sex
- name calling (whore, slut,frigid, bitch)
- accusations of affairs
- degrading her body parts
- sexual jokes
- sexual comments in public
- demanding sex for drugs or alcohol
- demanding sex as payment or trade
- administering drugs or alcohol
for sexual advantage
- insisting on checking her body
for sexual contact
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RITUAL
ABUSE
* mutilation
* animal mutilation
* forced cannibalism
* human sacrifices
- suggesting or promoting suicide
- forcing her to participate in rituals
- forcing her to witness rituals
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SOCIAL
ABUSE
- controlling what she does, who she sees,
who she talks to, what she reads, where sh goes
- put downs or ignoring her in public
- not allowing her access to family and friends
- change of personality with others
- being rude to her friends or relatives
- dictating her mode of dress
- dictating her behavior
- habitally choosing friends, activities, or
work rather than being with her
- making a "scene" in public
- making her account for herself
- censoring her mail
- treating her like a servant
- not giving her space or privacy
USING CHILDREN
* assaulting her front of the children
- making her stay home with the children
- teaching children to abuse mother through
name calling, hitting, etc.
- embarrassing her in front of children
- not sharing responsibility for children
- threatening to abduct the children, or
telling her she'll never get custody
- putting down her parenting ability
DURING SPEPARATION OR DIVORCE
- buying off kids with expensive gifts
- not showing up on time to pick up kids, not
having them back on time
- pumping kids for information on her boyfriend's, etc.
- telling kids that Mom is responsible for breaking up thefamily
- using kids to transport messages (sending notes
home to Mom in their suitcases)
- denying her access to children
USING RELIGION
- to justify abuse or dominance
- using church position to pressure for sex or favors
- using her, then demanding forgiveness
- excessive spending for religion
- interpreting religion your way
- preventing her from attending church
- requiring sex acts or drug use as religious acts
- mocking her beliefs
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FINANCIAL
ABUSE
* taking her money
- witholding money
- spending money foolishly or beyond means
- pressuring her to take full responsibility for finances
- not paying fair share of bills
- not spending money on special occasssions - birthdays, etc.
- spending on addictions, gambling, sexual services
- pressuring or controlling her working conditions
- keeping the family finances a secret
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ENVIRONMENTAL
ABUSE
ABUSE IN THE HOME:
* harming pets
* ripping clothing
* locking her in or out
* throwing out or destroying her possessions
- slamming doors
- throwing objects, food, etc.
- taking the phones or denying her use of
the phones
ABUSE IN THE VEHICLE:
* driving too fast
* driving recklessly
* driving while intoxicated
* forcing her out of the vehicle (when he's angry)
* pushing her out of the vehicle when it's in motion
* threatening to kill her by driving off a bridge,
into an oncoming car...
* chasing or hitting her with a vehicle
* killing her in a deliberate accident
- prohibiting her from using the vehicle by
tampering with the engine, chaining the
steering wheel, taking the keys
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EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL/VERBAL
ABUSE
* making her do illegal things
- false accusations
- name calling, finding fault
- verbal threats
- yelling
- making her think she's crazy, stupid
- overpowering her emotions
- disbelieving
- bringing up old issues
- inappropriate expession of jealousy
- degrading her
- turning a situation against her
- brainwashing
- laughing in her face
- silence
- refusing to do things with or for her
- always getting own way
- pressuring her
- neglecting her
- expecting her to conform to a role
- comparing her to others
- real or suggested involvement with other
women
- making her feel guilty
- certain mannerisms, eg. snapping fingers,
pointing
- threatening to get drunk or stoned unless...
- not passing on messages
- manipulation
- starting arguments
- witholding affection
- never really forgiving, holding grudges
- lying
- treating her as a child
- having a double standard for her
- saying one thing - meaning another
- denying or taking away her responsibilities
- not keeping commitments
- insisting on accompanying her into the
doctor's office
- threatening her with loss of immigration status
- deliberately creating a mess for her to clean
- preventing her from taking a job
- threatening to report her to authorities
- making her drop charges
- telling women-hating jokes
- refusing to deal with issues
- minimizing her work or contribution
- pressuring her to stay around during
drug or alcohol abuse
- not coming home
- coming home drunk or stoned
- displaying woman-hating or violent pictures
videos, games
- egging her on, challenging her to physical violence
- friendship with or support of men who are abusive
- demanding an accounting of her time/routine
- taking advantage of her fear of something
- putting her on a pedestal
ABUSE DURING PREGNANCY AND CHILDBIRTH:
- forcing her to have an abortion
- insulting her body
- refusing sex on the ground that her pregnant body is ugly
- denial that the child is his
- refusing to support her during the pregnancy
- refusing to support her during the birth (not being there,showing up
at the birth drunk, not showing up to bring her home from the hospital,
sleeping around while she's in the hospital)
- not supporting her or helping out after she comes home with the baby
- demanding sex after childbirth
- blaming her because the infant is the "wrong"sex
- refusing to allow her to breastfeed
- pouting, sulking or making her feel bad for time spent with the baby
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Some of these behaviors on their
own don't really look like abuse, but they are still considered abusive
behavior.
**Remember these behaviors were made by male abusers
and the means they use to control and manipulate women. Usually an abused
wife will be able to go through this list and see some and alot of these
behaviors in their partners.
If you think you are being abused - you most likely are.
If you recognize any of these behaviors, then you are being abused.
Get help!
If you wish you can contact me and I will try to talk you through this.
 Just
click to email me and I'll help as much as I can.
There are agencies and organizations everywhere that can help, but if youare
afraid to contact them, or unsure if they exist - then please contact me
and I will try to help.
Remember
the 3 C's:
You..
1) Didn't Cause it;
2) Can't Control it;
3) Can't Fix it.
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